It has been almost a full three months since we last spoke. Three months, and however many pregnancy tests later, I have finally decided to let him go. There is no baby, even though I had this sick, sick, yearning that there was. Any reason to make him talk to me was good for me. But no. It's done, for fuck's sake.
I am getting rid of all the bad in my life. All the negatives. All the mistakes. All the regrets. Of course, I say this with ease now...but will I be able to actually go through with it? Yes, of course I will. I am strong enough (right?). It's about time I become this person I have always wanted to be. Shoulder back, head high, and a strut with the greatest "fuck you" attitude there ever was.
Ha. Who am I kidding, right? Every time I catch myself (off-guard) in the mirror, I noticed how weak and sluggish I look. I look so timid and so afraid of everything. What total bullshit, huh? To look a certain way, but to feel the polar opposite.
I am going to keep telling myself this until I believe it: I am fucking awesome. I am talented. I am smart. I am strong. I am beautiful. And fuck, you're NOT better than me.
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I know the feeling, when I think myself, i see a strong-willed, cocky, intellectual and confident person. The kind of person who can say all the right things, someone that people could take serious, someone who could make a difference in someone's life. This is the man i wanna be, the man i'm gonna become, and it's all because of people like you. A kind of person that could actually see something good in me, something worthy, you've become one of my closest friends, so if you doubt the person you are, and need reminding then let me tell you... You are kind, strong, smart, funny, pretty, and the polar opposite of everything negative you see. I know that i'm kinda late from this post, hell i don't even know if these are you words or quotes, in any scenario, i just wanted you to know, my friend.
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