I'm becoming this type of girl.

It has been almost a full three months since we last spoke. Three months, and however many pregnancy tests later, I have finally decided to let him go. There is no baby, even though I had this sick, sick, yearning that there was. Any reason to make him talk to me was good for me. But no. It's done, for fuck's sake.

I am getting rid of all the bad in my life. All the negatives. All the mistakes. All the regrets. Of course, I say this with ease now...but will I be able to actually go through with it? Yes, of course I will. I am strong enough (right?). It's about time I become this person I have always wanted to be. Shoulder back, head high, and a strut with the greatest "fuck you" attitude there ever was.

Ha. Who am I kidding, right? Every time I catch myself (off-guard) in the mirror, I noticed how weak and sluggish I look. I look so timid and so afraid of everything. What total bullshit, huh? To look a certain way, but to feel the polar opposite.

I am going to keep telling myself this until I believe it: I am fucking awesome. I am talented. I am smart. I am strong. I am beautiful. And fuck, you're NOT better than me.

I'm not that kind of girl.

One. By. One.

One by one. One. By. One.
One.

One by one.
Bye.

I am letting them go.
Bye. Bye. Bye
One.
By.
One.